i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Can I color on your dick again?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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