I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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