fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
either way he was missing a nipple.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I FOUND THE LEGS
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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