oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize