I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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