How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
