I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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