I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
there is glitter all over my balls
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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