Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
