All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
