You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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