im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize