Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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