Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
