I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
