Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
