Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
