My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.