omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I can text with my tongue
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
