Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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