dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
