My Higher Power is John Stamos
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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