I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
