what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize