i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
