im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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