Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
