they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
