I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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