I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just want nice things and good sex
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
