And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
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so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
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Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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