Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize