But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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