maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Randomize
