i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
