I heard we made out
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
