spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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