dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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