she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
