Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
