Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
