how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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