I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
