I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
