I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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