is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
