Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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