Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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