why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize