I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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