I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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