Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
