Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
