Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
