and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize