The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
