Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
