Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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