Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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