Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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